Where has time gone?

Where has time gone? Mr. Mason is now 4 weeks old! We have had such an amazing 2 weeks together though! 

--3 Weeks--

Mason 3 Weeks - 7.24.13

This wee we were busy again with Mello Yello events and it was also Crazy Days so we spend Thursday(7/18) at the pool! 

We also went the my friend Amanda's wedding on Saturday(7/20) and Mason did an awesome job! 

Great Grandma/Grandpa Stager along with Grandma/Grandpa Speiser came to visit on Sunday(7/21) and we went out for lunch! 

--4 Weeks--

4 Weeks! Where has the time gone! On Saturday my baby boy will be a month old!! This week Mason met his daycare provider, and it was my birthday(7/25), Auntie Heather took us out for lunch to Applebees and then took us Mini Golfing(Heather won)! This was a lot of fun! On Friday(7/26) Mason and I went all by ourselves to the cities to pick up Grandma Blough.

 Matt and I went out for a little bit with some friends and Auntie Heather was the first babysitter we had for Mason! We babysat Mason's cousins the Gniffkes on Sunday(7/28). More Mello Yello events and a nice lunch at the Coffee House to bring back memories from when we were growing up! Tueseday(7/30) we went mini golfing in Belview for FREE how awesome of a double date was that! What a great week it has been! 

Changes are happening tho: Mason has lost weight and we have found out it is because he wasn't getting enough milk from me when I would breast feed. So I am pumping as much as I can but otherwise switching to formula. I am surprised I could even make it this long with my breast reduction. I also got a job at Schwans and will be starting Monday, yes, 8/5/13. I am doing half days the first week (1-5pm) and the full time the next week. Auntie Heather will be watching Mason until he is 6 weeks and can go to daycare. This was a really hard decision to make but with the economy the way it is we need the 2nd income By the time I get paid it will be 10 weeks since I last received a paycheck. I am just trying to spend as much time with Mason as I can(yes I am even holding him as I type this) It hurts so much to think about it but I know it's the best thing right now for our family because who knows if I will be offered another job for awhile. As someone said to me "By it hurting so much it just shows how much you love Mason" I know he will be in great hands though and it will be easier this way then just having to drop him off at daycare. However I have only left him 2 times now and both were for 2hr so this will be a little bit of a change! Prayers would be appreciated! :)

Circle Your Prayers

Yesterday in church, Pastor Grant told us to "Circle your life in prayer for God to Change" - they started to do this at the beginning of the month but I was either at children's church, or at Matt's parents - the goal was to write things down that you wanted God to change in your life and to watch throughout the month God work miracles. So I have wrote a couple down:

~ Cope with wedding - I pray that God can help me cope with how our wedding went and just be happy about it. Not be sad or mad about things that didn't happen. It has been 5 1/2 months and I still cry almost daily about things. This is a big topic at my next therapy session since we are getting the "bigger" things under control now.

~ Figure out daycare - I just pray that God will show me a way and answer about if daycare is my thing to do. In the past week I am believing God is working his ways. Will explain more at the end of the month!

~ Good/Healthy Pregnancy - I pray that my pregnancy will continue to be good and healthy. That our next appointment at the end of the month the baby will be healthy and growing good!

~ Family - Nothing hurts more then being torn in half between your own family, having to make decisions to make everyone happy. I just pray that God can mend our family back together. Matt and I are starting a family of our own and I just want nothing more then having our family back together.

~ Stress Free Month - I just pray God can ease my mind this month. That I not get worked up over little things or worry about money or anything that I just believe in him and trust in him. So far it's going good!

~ Emotions - I pray that I can keep my emotions under control. All my mind does is run run run...I just need a break sometimes. I cry over the littlest things and it's not even stress or fights it's just looking back into the past or little things said to me.

--I am so thankful for my therapist though. She really helps a lot and I am starting to do more things around the house to help Matt out. I really take him for granted some days. He does so much for me and my daycare. I just wish everyone could see how much he brutally does! --

Emotions

They say emotions get worse when you get pregnant and they are right. I cry almost everyday, sometimes only for a few minutes others for several of minutes and other times for hour(s). It can be about the littlest things or the biggest things. Here are a FEW of them...

-- It has been 4 months since our wedding -- and I still haven't got over the fact that I lost an amazing family for a year. We just started talking again recently and they were my second mom and dad. Their whole family was suppose to be in the wedding until we got in a fight and we were both to stubborn to talk it out.

-- It has been 4 months since our wedding -- and I am still not satisfied with our photos. The photos we got were amazing, but I wish we would have gotten some individual photos with parents/the bottom for my shoes, and more of Matt and I.

-- It has been 4 months since our wedding -- and it still hurts a lot know my sister and her whole family backed out of our wedding 6 days before. They weren't there to witness the most important day in our life. And I'm not sure I will ever be able to get over this. 

-- It has been 4 months since our wedding -- and as I look at photos I realized how my mom was never in the room with me to get ready. It never hit me until yesterday. I'm having such a hard time with this. But it's things you can't change. 

-- Ellen -- I miss my Aunt Ellen more then I could ever imagine. I have so many questions that I want to ask her about daycare and life. And I just wish I could talk to her one more time. 

Enough crying for tonight hopefully.